Sunday, November 29, 2009

"The Peeves"

Rantings from the maddest brotha on the planet


By The Angry Blackman


Yunno...sometimes it's just so, SO hard to understand the rationale behind these companies hiring COMPLETE blithering idiots to work their customer service systems. Like, where in the hell did you get some of these Wendy's fry bin rejects, people who OBVIOUSLY have no business doing a job that requires an ability for concise communication? People who are from, like, THE most shallow end of the job pool?


Doesn't poor customer service just PISS you off? I'm talking about that “makes-me-want-to-throw-a-brick-through-the-company's-front-window” type of piss you off? Ain't nothing worse than a mouthy customer service rep over the phone or, worse yet, a mouthy one IN a place of business. Believe me, my gripes with customer service are numerous and varied:


Excessive Holding. Oh man, they just LOOOOOOVE to leave you on hold forever...only to come back and say “Sir? Yes, I'm still waiting, but I just wanted to see if you were still holding...”....makes you wanna hang up on their dumb asses, except you know that calling back will take even LONGER to hold....sheesh, it's like they earn an extra dollar per minute that I hold or something, knowin' they ain't doin' no REAL work towards addressing my concern, probably texting their stank friends instead....and enough with the cheesy music, for crying out loud....if I REALLY wanted to hear the extended version of Billy Ocean's “Suddenly” as interpreted by the London Philharmonic Orchestra, I'd find a better means to do that, thanks.


Accents. Look, I got NOTHING against immigrants who speak English but still maintain a thick dialect and/or drawl from their own language.....but to all you good folks who ARE like that? DON'T TAKE CUSTOMER SERVICE JOBS. Like, what is the point of me constantly saying, “Waitaminute, what did you say? Can you repeat that? Can you SPELL that?” if I can't UNDERSTAND you, my service as a customer is incomplete, right? So get your monkey ass up off the damn phone and let me speak to your damn supervisor, you moron....


Stank attitudes. I wish someone would invent one of those video phones they used to have on “The Jetsons”, where you could literally reach through the phone and smack the natural crap outta fool. Such an invention is necessary with some of these customer service reps. I'm talkin' about the ones who get smart with you, or act sarcastic towards you, or try to talk over you and disregard you, or try to talk DOWN to you, like you “don't understand”...all of these types of people should be eaten by cannibals, and their bones crushed into a fine powder that is then spread over a huge pile of horse crap, then the horse crap should be ejected out into deep space...bastards...

False Sense Of Accomplishment. When they don’t do nothin’ for you, then got the nerve to CHEERFULLY ask you, “is there anything ELSE I can do for you, sir?” Trick you didn't do squat the FIRST time! How you gon' “help me” do something ELSE when you ain't BEGAN helpin' me yet? Yeah, you can “help me” by taking another job, preferably somewhere that doesn't require any VERBAL participation on your part....

Inexperience. Let's not forget about the reps who just flat out don’t know what the hell they’re talking about, whether it's because they're new employees, or because they were just poorly trained. I mean, how am I the one telling YOU the damn policy, to where you suddenly go “....oh yeah, you right sir. My bad...” The HELL? Man if you don't get your “Dazed and Confused” lookin' ass up off the damn phone and transfer me to somebody with some damn SENSE....
 
(**DISCLAIMER:  the views and opinions expressed herein by Angry Blackman are exclusively his own and do not represent the views of afrocentral.com or its members….even though, most of the time, this fool be on point with his…**)

News From The Weird: Peruvian Gang Kills Overweight People, Sells Their Fat For Cosmetics...

What a strange and disturbing story...it seems that four people have been arrested in Peru on suspicion of killing dozens of people in order to sell their fat and tissue for cosmetic uses in Europe.

The gang allegedly targeted people on remote roads, luring them with fake job offers before killing them and extracting their fat. The liquidized product fetched as much as $15,000 a liter, and police suspect it was sold to cosmetic companies in Europe.

At least five other suspects, including two Italian nationals, remain at large. Police said the gang could be behind the disappearances of up to 60 people in Peru's Huanuco and Pasco regions. One of those arrested told police the ringleader had been killing people for their fat for more than three decades. The gang has been referred to as the Pishtacos, after an ancient Peruvian legend of killers who attack people on lonely roads and murder them for their fat.

I mean, damn....THIRTY YEARS? Not even Hollywood could make up this stuff, folks....your thoughts?

Attack Of The 50-Foot Woman?

Well, not quite...but check out this Australian video shoot involving French model “Amazon Eve”...at 6'8”, she's got to be the world's tallest supermodel of all time.

Fellas...is there such a thing as "too MUCH" woman? Does a woman being this tall serve as a "deal breaker" for you, even if you find her physically appealing?

What do you think?