FEATURE: "Cyber Creepin'"...Is It Possible To Cheat Online?

Yunno….it’s hard to believe that, in 2009, there are STILL people who think there’s nothing wrong with being in a relationship yet secretly communicating romantically with someone else over the internet. These people don’t see anything inherently wrong with “getting involved” with someone else online.

Really, the title of this article is rhetorical…because HELL YEAH it’s not only possible to cheat online, but for those so deviously inclined, it’s remarkably EASY to do.

Cyber creepin’ -or “cyber straying”, as the less cool would phrase it – occurs when two people who have never met in real life have online communications which are inappropriate in nature. Yeah, yeah, I hear you now, sitting there going, “…well, what constitutes ‘inappropriate’?” Well, for the most part...if you’re a purported ADULT in a committed relationship, you pretty much should know better when it comes to discerning what behavior would be considered “going over the line.” Basically, if you’re doing something which totally goes against the supposed principles upon which you based your relationship or marriage, then you're likely living foul on some inappropriate tip.

Still don’t understand? Okay, well….in ghetto layman’s terms, you know DAMN WELL your girl Quanisha would go upside your head with the nearest skillet if she saw that you just told some thick honey in Phoenix on blackplanet.com– whose profile picture is of her bent over suggestively in a cheerleader’s uniform - that you would “love to palm her pom-poms….”

“I Don’t See What The Problem Is…”
The main question these folks have surrounding whether it’s possible to cheat online is:

“How can you consider someone unfaithful if they never see or physically meet the person with whom they’re supposedly creepin’?”

Let’s put this in its proper perspective….social networking sites have changed everything about the way we communicate with each other, and particularly with the opposite sex. At work, at home, and even on the go through our mobile devices and cell phones, we’re able to post EVERY minute detail about ourselves for the rest of the world to see. Technology provides instant access to anyone, anywhere, at anytime.

So because of this ready-access, obviously it doesn’t really take much effort to cheat online. You can easily get at someone on the low-low in a variety of manners: via email, on forum message boards, in chat rooms, posting on their Myspace or Facebook pages (……aaaah, Facebook. I know people in relationships who consider the biggest downfall to a site like Facebook is that it’s very easy to SIMULTANEOUSLY correspond inappropriately with LOTS of people of the opposite sex. For the weaker-minded, it’s like a buffet of debauchery that spawns the worst kind of lames possible. Ain’t nothin’ sorrier than some herb who worked on his profile photo for two hours, taking 100 flicks on his Blackberry just to get the right shot for the profile, constantly changing his mind about certain poses…yeah, you’re way over the top with it, bruh. Stop it.) Since the WAY people can stay in touch has changed, it’s only natural that new methods for cheating would follow suit.

Cheating online is often referred to as having an “emotional affair”. Because even if you don’t physically act on feelings you may have for someone else, by continuing to engage in flirting or sharing of feelings or emotions via the Internet WITH that person you are violating the intimacy of your relationship with your current significant other.

"I'm A Flirt"
Let’s say you’re walking through the mall, arm-in-arm with your significant other….how comfortable do you think he/she would feel if you were winkin’ at every guy/girl that passed by, or saying to them, “Damn you look good!”, right in your significant other’s face? Yeeeeeeah, not very. The only difference between that scenario and doing it online is the form of, and proximity to, the person with whom you’re flirting. In other words, flirting is flirting, no matter how it’s executed.

R&B crooner Trey Songz has a song talkin’ about some woman sendin’ him messages and ending her sentences with “LOL” and inserting smiley faces (by the way...I HATE that damn song, what a craptacular display of musical prowess. How mindlessly droning is that garbage, I mean, I’d rather listen to two cats getting repeatedly run over by a lawnmower…). Now if you’re a MARRIED man, and you lewdly whistle at a woman in public, I’m here to tell you that there’s not much difference between THAT and sending a woman an email with the gang of smiley faces and suggestive language. And I DAMN SURE bet that your wife would be just as mad in either instance.

"Once UPORN A Time…” - Cyber Creepin’ and Porn
Some think watching porn online is a form of cheating. Now see, that’s getting dicey with it…because there is a noticeable distinction between the two. With porn, your mate feels violated because of the idea that you’ve replaced them with the image or likeness of another, in either video or photo format. In that respect, watching porn is a “single party” affair….cause it’s not like you can accuse someone’s PALM of being a home wrecker.

Cyber creepin’, on the other hand, presents a different and more pronounced violation because in that instance a partner is stealing instances of intimacy which should exist in their own marriage or relationship and instead directing them towards another REAL person. The person they’re cyber creepin’ with actively responds to, and promotes, actual feelings from YOUR partner, causing the two to develop their own sense of intimacy outside of your relationship.

To be CLEAR…you really don’t want your partner to be doing EITHER. But given the choice, would you rather let him/her get away with ordering “Slutty Young Co-Eds” on pay per view, or would you rather want to consider whether to hire Joey Greco to follow him/her around?

“I Saw The Signs…”
….so how do you determine just what IS going on between your significant other and that heifer in Hoboken? In many ways, someone engaged in cyber creepin’ will exhibit all the same signs as someone having a traditional affair outside of their relationship. Here are some good indicators that your mate might be gettin’ it in behind your back:

1. Devoting more attention to being online than being with you. Your partner might be distracted and unable to focus on you or your relationship. Those long talks y’all used to have? The time spent taking long rides to the shore? Those moments shared vandalizing vending machines on some “Bonnie & Clyde” tip? All gone. Instead, he/she favors spending large amounts of time on the computer to your company.

2. Overly secretive or sneaky behavior. Is your partner logging on at weird times, maybe after they think you’ve gone to sleep or early in the AM before you wake up? It might be that they don’t want you to see what they’re doing. They may also do things like shut the door to the computer room when they’re in there alone, or otherwise try and hide/minimize their screen if you suddenly walk into the room. They may also say they have to go into work early, or stay late at work, when they’re actually cyber creepin’ it up with someone else.

3. High volume of traffic to a specific person’s profile. Pretty much every social networking site - whether it’s Facebook, Myspace, whatever – gives its members the capability of editing an online profile, where one can leave comments for other people, post links, photos and videos, etc. And on a lot of those profiles, you can SEE who’s most recently visited the profile. So if your husband has made 30 visits to the profile page for “Mz. GottaBooty” over the last week, you MIGHT wanna see what’s good with that…..

4. Several emails to the same person under the “Sent Items” folder. I’m pretty sure your wife isn’t emailing "chocolategodbody@yahoo.com” to ask him for cookie recipes. And I’m even MORE sure that her inclusion of 12 smiley emoticons in response to him saying “I’d love to meet you…” is an indication that she might soon be telling you she’s signed up for a new night class ….that, uh, meets every night….for seven days a week…in the next county…

Bottom line? Don’t get into a relationship until your desire for “conquest” is gone (or, in the immortal words of MC Chubb Rock, until “the skeezer in you dies”). If you don’t think you’re mature enough for a commitment yet, then don’t get INTO one and you won’t have to worry about being tempted by some online Hottie McHotness. That way, no one’s time will have been wasted, people won’t hafta suffer unnecessary heartbreak, and women won’t hafta bust the windows outta dudes' cars….

Let’s all grow up people, hah?

FACEBOOK BREAK UP: Very Funny But True Video On How Facebook Has Been Messing Up Relationships

The good folks over at Throwd Up TV concoct a CLASSIC skit regarding the ever-popular social networking site. Very clever, tongue-in-cheek representation….those in relationships, be warned!

Album Review: Jay-Z's "Blueprint 3" Represents Rapper’s Shift In Focus

By Joe Momma
Music Editor

Jay-Z is a chameleon…always changing to adapt to hip-hop’s current environment. That’s been his steez his whole career. It’s how he’s maintained his relevancy for so long….yes, Shawn Carter has set plenty of trends, but he also knows that in order to appeal to an ever-evolving hip-hop populace, he needs to adjust his sound to what TODAY’S fans want to hear.

It is with this sensibility in tow that I think he went into recording The Blueprint 3 (*** outta five), his eleventh studio album release.

Why do I say that? Because the album is a distinct departure from his core sound, or rather, what we’re “used to” hearing from Jay-Z. Some critics who’ve reviewed the album are hailing it amongst his best works, citing his artistic maturation and development as a testament to his continued hunger for setting himself apart from the rest of the rap pack.

Unfortunately, this is part of my problem with the album…even though I realize it’s selfishly motivated.

Don’t get me wrong, I applaud Jay for shunning conventional norms and ideologies about what his songs are SUPPOSED to sound like. He clearly stepped away from any “comfort zone” with this jawn, and took some experimental chances with his sound. That’s the only way to grow as an artist, and it’s honestly the only way the culture is going to properly age. Lord knows there’s already too much cookie-cutter crap on the radio as it is.

But that’s just it…to me, Jay's lane has never been FORCED pop music. Historically, when you examine all his biggest hits? He NATURALLY makes "street and club" music that just so happens to end up producing huge pop hits. Lookit a song like "Big Pimpin'", I would bet that Jay, UGK and Timbo didn't make that jawn with the SPECIFIC intent of getting radio spins. Same with "Give It To Me", I'm not seeing a deliberate attempt to get that on Top 40 pop radio. Jay's own popularity SWAYED the pop crowd over to him.

Therein lies my issue with this album. I'm not so sure you can apply that rationale to some of these songs on BP3. The thing I don't like the most about Jay’s latest work is the fact that it sounds like Jay-Z doing his impersonation of a Kanye West album. Like, if this album would've been released as Kanye’s new album, musically it would've been hailed as "brilliant". The beats on this jawn fit Kanye’s steez BETTER than they do Jigga’s. Kanye is able to pull off the "selectively straddling pop success" schtick a lot more credibly than Jay.

Things start off marvelously with the stoic "What We Talkin' About", as Jay addresses his detractors and critics over a knockin’ Kanye and No I.D. track. The masterful “Thank You” showcases his most nimble flow since back when he was still guesting with Original Flavor (do your research!) over another absolute Kanye BANGER. Showcasing the new young talent, Jay lets Drake ride shotgun on the hook for the Timbaland produced, dance floor ready “Off That”, and gives some shine to his newest Roc Nation protégé, J. Cole, on the Kanye/No I.D. joint “A Star Is Born” (except WHY is he using AUTO-TUNE on this track? Isn’t he “anti-auto-tune”, as he says in the opening of the album's lead single, “D.O.A. - Death Of Auto-Tune”? HYPROCRITE much, Shawn?). Jay also gets busy for the streets with Young Jeezy on the anthemic “Real As It Gets”, then goes for broke over soulful piano loops courtesy of the lovely Ms. Alicia Keys on “Empire State Of Mind”. Alongside the “who told him he could sing?” crooning of Neptunes producer Pharrell, Jay spits game on the groovin’ “So Ambitious”.

Problem is, the songs comprising the REST of the album cause it to quickly lose steam. The radio-friendly “Run This Town” with Rihanna and Kanye, as well as aforementioned "D.O.A.", have never been favorites, and with each successive listen become more and more fast-forwardable. Rihanna’s appearance in particular is a sore point, as the lanky R&B diva’s annoying wails detract from the rest of the song. The Swizz Beats produced “On To The Next One” should take its own advice (although I guarantee you that song will be blowing up the clubs before the end of the month). Songs like “Venus vs. Mars”, “Hate” (again featuring Kanye) and “Reminder” - produced by Timbaland, Kanye and Timbaland again, respectively – are straight forgettable and should have been left on the cutting room floor.

But the two biggest gripes I have are with the cuts “Already Home” and “Forever Young”. “Already Home”, featuring newcomer Kid Cudi and produced by Kanye, COULD be dope if the hook wasn’t so damn CORNY. The track itself has potential, and Jay’s flow is on point, but overall the song just….UGH. It would have to grow on you, in my opinion, and frankly I don’t have the patience. “Forever Young”, on the other hand, is just hopeless. A BLATANT attempt at pop radio, the song lost me IMMEDIATELY with its cheesy '80s synth and British wailing to start off the song, courtesy of “the next big thing in R&B”, newcomer Mr. Hudson. Sorry, but he sounds more like a broke ass version of Sting than a fresh new artist. I don’t hear any originality in his voice whatsoever, and the happy ass “skip to my lou” feel of the song makes me wanna kick a hole in my speaker, pull the plug and then jet….

Look, I don't dismiss Jay OVERALL because of what I perceive are missteps on this album. I don't like THIS album, but that doesn't mean I think Jay is "done", which is an ill-conceived perception currently making the rounds on the internet...the idea that this album proves Jay is "past his prime". THAT, my friends, is crap. If anything, this album solidifies Jay as one of the greatest emcees of all time. As much as I dislike a lot of these tracks musically, he's flowing his ASS OFF over all of them, with excellent flow variance, diverse bar structures, expanded vocab....he KILLS this album lyrically.

Overall, as a Jay-Z fan your opinion of this album will be based on what you’re willing to ACCEPT from Jay at this point in his career. Personally, I see more bad than good. The good is VERY good...it's just that the bad is also VERY bad.

"The Peeves"

Rantings from the maddest brotha on the planet

By The Angry Blackman

AIIIIIGHT…ENOUGH with the dumbass reality shows already!

Don’t get me wrong, the RIGHT reality show can be pretty entertaining. And the reality shows that used to air when it was still a fairly new phenomenon were particularly ROFL-worthy. Hell, I used to watch “Temptation Island” on the regular, only because I got some pretty good laughs watching happy couples think that being placed on an island with “beautiful people”, purposely separated and then made to endure serious tests of their love was a good idea.

But somewhere along the line, it became trendy to give ANYBODY a damn reality show. Be honest, you HAD to have known that things had hit rock-bottom when VH-1 gave New York and her ugly ass momma their own show…please, I’ve seen more personality in a dead aardvark than that chain-smoking hoebag (and SERIOUSLY, why IS her momma so damn ugly? Her face looks like something I stepped in at a kennel…lookin’ like somebody dipped a gargoyle in fudge…).

Here are the Top 5 reality shows pissing me off the most these days:

• The T.O. Show – lemme be clear…I CANNOT STAND Terrell “Male Diva” Owens as it is, so tell me again why I would be interested in a weekly glimpse into his PERSONAL life? Nevermind that much of the show seems forced and scripted…the whole show is just BORING as all hell. In fact, it’s EASIER to simply list all the things I’d RATHER be doing than watching this damn clown showcase: getting a root canal...shaving Star Jones’ back...having my throat scraped with a dull rusty scalpel….uh, getting a tax audit from Bill O'Reilly…you get the idea.

• ”Real Housewives Of…” Anywhere – Atlanta, New Jersey, Orange County, I don’t care…LITERALLY, I don’t care. Why should I concern myself with the doings of some spoiled rich suburban skanks? These heifers have no redeeming value other than to TRY to look pretty for the camera, which is a stretch considering that, facially, most of them look like something the dog threw up, examined, ate again, and then threw up again.

• “Real Chance At Love” – seriously, who told these two lame ass herberts that they had the right appeal for not only ONE season, but a return season? What coonery, watching a bunch of disingenuous chickens cluck over two classless retards who otherwise likely couldn’t get hired cleaning out the fry bins at Arby’s. “I really love Chance, I feel this real connection with him….”…TRICK, NO YOU DON’T! How can you feel a connection with somebody you just met three hours ago? Get off the damn airwaves, you loo-HOOO-sers….

• My Super Sweet 16”- arguably one of THE worst offenders on the list. A bunch of over-privileged, obnoxiously rotten teens plan their overpriced birthday parties, throw tantrums at their parents for “ruining their lives”, and YET by the end of the show they’re driving off in brand new $70,000 luxury vehicles. Yeah, life’s fair….I’d only recommend this show if you’re fond of screaming at your television.

• “Bridezillas” – hey yeah, let’s watch the gang of high-strung bitchy bride-to-be’s yell at their loved ones, henpeck their grooms-to-be and generally make life miserable for everyone all in the name of “making HER day perfect”! How enjoyable, right? Seriously, I’d rather you cut off my eyelids and keep taking my picture with a camera with a bright ass flash….

So enough with the wack reality shows already. With each successive new show, it’s like these networks aim solely to broadcast THE MOST sensationalist bullcrap possible so as to boost ratings….what’s next, live human sacrifices in front of a firing squad? I can see it now: “Don’t miss ‘Who Wants To Catch A Hot One?’, Thursdays on FOX!...”

(**DISCLAIMER: the views and opinions expressed herein by The Angry Blackman are exclusively his own and do not represent the views of thenewblacklove.com or its members….even though, most of the time, this fool be on point with his…**)

Controversial New Ad Simulates 9/11 Tragedy...

Check out this controversial advertisement from the World Wildlife Fund, which depicts several planes simultaneously speeding towards the World Trade Center twin towers in suicidal fashion.

I understand being brazen to make an important point, so as to bring attention to your cause, but isn't this a bit insensitive to the families of the people that died that day? What do you think?