Tuesday, September 22, 2009

"Who Wears The Pants?": Power Struggles Within Marriages & Relationships

There’s this sensibility amongst women that it is always possible to MOLD your man into what you want him to be….that every man with “potential” is capable of being “tamed”. One of the best analogies I’ve ever heard in this regard comes from a female TV character, who compared how to deal with men to the wine-making process:

“Men are like grapes. Our job is to STOMP on them….and keep them in the dark until they mature into something we’d like to have dinner with….”

– Maxine Shaw, attorney at law, from the hit FOX TV show “Living Single”

Again, the thinking goes that a man is SCULPTABLE; rather, that he’s some fine lump of clay at a woman’s disposal, destined to be shaped into “Mr. Right”.

False.

Look, love IS strong…but oftentimes it’s not strong enough to make someone go against who they TRULY are inside and radically change the essence of themselves solely because YOU asked them to make that change. Only God can truly change that which is within and DEFINES them….not some cutie in tight Capris.

“My Way Or The Highway”

As a result, what develops is this false sense of ability to change people to better suit YOUR tastes. This always leads to arguments because one of the partners involved isn’t understanding that you can’t WILL someone into being how YOU want them to be….that is, just because you WANT your partner to be/act a certain way doesn’t mean you can successfully FORCE them to be/act a certain way. The “Living Single” quote above is, in essence, a control issue. Maxine Shaw’s quote exemplifies the female ideology of dominating the man and curbing/taming his ego; an ideology that consistently leads to a power struggle in the marriage or relationship.

“The Struggle Continues…”

Marriage or relationship power struggles are usually very pronounced and manifest as one of two types:

1. The type where one partner insists on "running the show" (not coincidentally, this type of partner is also typically the one who’ll try to force the other partner into changing or adapting and submitting to THEIR will); and/or

2. The type where one person shuts the other partner out of his or her life.

To be clear, the issue of control is what drives the power struggle in a marriage or relationship. One partner will frequently assert what they think is “right” in the relationship, even if the other partner objects. For instance, some men believe that they must assert their "dominant authority" over their wife/girlfriend and their home. This sensibility is heavily fueled by the male ego. Quite simply, men with egos don’t like to be TOLD to do things, and don’t favor being forced into action just because a woman instructed them to do so. It will only make them rebel and lash out more, because they consider it an attack on their manhood.

“Bow Down….”

For women, the control issue is powered by the ideology of the "modern woman"; that is, one who is totally independent and her own woman, who may see little "use" for her husband's or partner’s authority. Most women want to FEEL in control; and, as most men have figured out, sometimes CONCEDING a sense of control is enough to appease their spouse or partner. I mean let’s face it…at certain times men HAVE to bow down because, otherwise, the resultant TURMOIL will make the entire situation much worse. As a man, oftentimes it’s far easier to simply “give in” and allow the woman to THINK she’s in control than it is to see the argument through to the end (because there IS no end and, therefore, there is no PEACE). Most of the time, a man just wants to avoid further conflict (e.g., stop the nagging), so he will agree with whatever his spouse or partner says. Truth be told, as a man, most of the time when you agree with your woman, that’s the end of it. A simple affirmation of her position is enough to appease her; sometimes, uttering something along the lines of “Yep”, or “Uh-huh”, or possibly “Baby you right, you right!” is enough to save him hours of headache.

It doesn’t mean he is weak or inferior to the woman….in SOME cases, a man shows his strength and wisdom by giving in during the heat of the moment in order to diffuse the situation and prevent it from further escalating. But PLEASE BELIEVE….there IS a line. A man wouldn’t TRULY be regarded as a man and acting within his capacity as “head of household” if he were purely a submissive pansy (and no matter what they say, NO WOMAN likes a weak man that she is able to easily manipulate. Have some balls, for crying out loud….). So in other words, a man – hell, any HUMAN BEING in that situation – can only take so much before they lash out at the control issue.

“Let’s Straighten It Out…”

So it seems like a delicate balance to strike….when has a wife/woman stepped over the line from being a deservingly demanding wife to being just a plain ol’ bossy bitch (though YOU’LL never call her a bossy bitch…unless, yunno, you LIKE sleeping in the car.) When has a husband/man crossed the boundary from patient but guiding mate to simply being a whipped wuss?

In order to resolve power struggles effectively, BOTH partners must be willing and motivated to resolve the core issues causing the conflict. In other words, learn how to SHARE the power within a marriage or relationship. Patience and compromise are the only ways to achieve that. Both partners must accept two key truths, namely (a) “it takes two to tango”, or rather, true commitment or marriage is a mutual affair and, as such, each partner's beliefs, needs, feelings, and input are equally essential; and (b) each partner “has a voice” and should always be regarded as an individual person who cannot be taken advantage of, silenced, or disregarded.

Only by honestly and earnestly adopting these practice tools in your marriage or relationship will you truly be able to move past the power struggle stage and towards more positive, harmonious paths…..but it ain’t gonna just magically “develop” outta nowhere. You’re going to have to work at it.

Is YOUR marriage or relationship worth that?

"The Peeves"

Rantings from the maddest brotha on the planet

By The Angry Blackman

When you consider all the things throughout your day that stress you most consistently, driving has to be near the top of the list. It’s especially true if you commute daily, like me, crossing major thoroughfares on a routine basis (and don’t get me started on bridge tolls, that’s a whole ‘nother Peeve rant entirely).

Driving presents the constant challenge of unraveling one of life’s greatest enigmas, which is:

If everyone is required to take written and driving tests in order to obtain their licenses, thereby having to PROVE their “fitness” to operate a motor vehicle on public roads and highways, then WHY ARE THERE SO MANY &^%$#@ IDIOTS ON THE DAMN ROAD?!?

Blame your local DMV for the overabundance of morons on today’s highways and byways. TRULY, in this day and age, ANY idiot can get a driver’s license…and judging by the antics of some of the people you see on the roads daily, a lot of idiots DO get licenses. Nothing pisses me off more than the following, the five most ridiculously stupid types of behavior you’ll ever see executed behind a steering wheel:

People Using Cell Phones/PDAs While Driving. In certain States, it’s illegal to talk on the phone while you’re driving. You can get pulled over for it. Honestly, it’s just not very smart because it detracts from your concentration level behind the wheel. As a responsible driver, you have no place having a heated argument with your Boo while switchin’ lanes during a traffic jam, and you have ABSOLUTELY NO BUSINESS whatsoever trying to send text messages while you’re driving. Cruising down the turnpike doing 70 MPH is NOT exactly the most ideal time to text your cousin about that “honey you met at the club last night…”

People Grooming Themselves While Driving. This is just unacceptable on so many levels. So you’re gonna WAIT until you’re in your CAR to put on lipstick and apply eye shadow? You REALLY think it’s cool to shave your beard in the rear view mirror while a freakin’ semi-truck is doing a strong 75 MPH to your immediate left? I mean, NEVERMIND that you just left your house where you could have instead used, oh I dunno, YOUR BATHROOM for something like that, right?

People With An Overall Lack Of “Driving Etiquette 101”. Some people just don’t KNOW how to properly conduct and comport themselves when they are out on the road, in the midst of traffic. In other words, they ain’t got no damn home training. There are certain COMMON SENSE courtesies you always extend when you’re driving:

Don’t tailgate me closely. Dude, why the hell are you all up in my TRUNK? This is not Talladega, don’t be bump-drafting me down I-95. Get your Grace-Jones-“Pull-Up-To-My-Bumper-Baby”-lookin’ ass AT LEAST a car’s length away from my vehicle…

Don’t change lanes without signaling. During the 20th Century, a REMARKABLE thing happened…cars became equipped with a UNIQUE mechanism known as a TURN SIGNALUSE IT. Don’t come outta nowhere from my blind side and cut me off, trying to cut across four lanes of traffic to get to an exit your dumb ass should have KNOWN was coming up half a mile ago.

Don’t sit in a traffic jam and honk your horn. Listen, no matter HOW many times you do it, it’s NOT going to make traffic move any faster. The lanes are NOT going to magically part solely for your pleasure, like some highway version of The Red Sea. Knock it off. THIS MEANS YOU, NEW YORK CITY CAB DRIVERS…

People Who Smoke With Kids In The Car. What on God’s green would possess someone to emit toxic fumes in the direct presence of their own (or another’s) children? We’re talkin’ about (supposed) GROWN adult people here, who apparently experience nic (nicotine) fits so strong that waiting to get out of the car first is unrealistic to them, like that’s too long to wait….never mind that there are three toddlers in the backseat (and don’t eeeeven get me started on people who don’t make little kids put on their seat belts…)…so now everyone in the damn car is forced to walk into church smellin’ like Flavor Country. Seriously, anyone like this is absolutely the worst type of person and I hope they all come down with Marburg Hemorrhagic Fever.

Old People Driving. THE GRANDADDY OF THEM ALL! Hands down the most reprehensible, most obnoxious peeve in all of driving-dom. Simply put, old people have no business operating motor vehicles on public roadways. Period. Their nonsensical road violations are endless. Like, old people should NEVER try to cut another driver off. They don’t possess the proper motor skills (no pun intended) nor range of motion to execute it effectively….so they end up cutting you off AND making you slam on the brakes because they’re only doing 20 MPH WHILE they’re cutting you off. Since their rate of speed doesn’t ever increase - it’s like they get to 20 MPH and feel the wind in their hair, so the dementia tricks them into thinking they’re going faster than they really are – they end up snarling traffic, while being COMPLETELY oblivious to it all. So now I’m late for work because an entire highway lane, seven cars deep, is backed up due to someone Driving Miss Daisy. It's a FACT that old people should have to re-qualify their fitness for driving once they reach a certain age. You’ve seen it countless times, videos of elderly drivers crashing into crowds of people because the car was in reverse by accident, or they hit the gas when they should have hit the brake…I say we get these dangerous geezers off the streets as quickly as possible.

It’s all enough to make you just wanna catch the damn bus…..

(**DISCLAIMER: the views and opinions expressed herein by Angry Blackman are exclusively his own and do not represent the views of thenewblacklove.com or its members….even though, most of the time, this fool be on point with his…**)

TUPAC Interview: "The Lost Footage"

VIBE Magazine has released never-before-seen footage of Tupac Shakur from a 1996 interview, only months before his death. The interview catches the rap icon being unsurprisingly candid about everything from his mortality, unification of the hip-hop nation and being locked up in prison to his beef with Bad Boy, his influence on Biggie and why he thinks Puffy knew about his Quad Studios shooting before it happened.

Many consider him the G.O.A.T. (Greatest Rapper Of All Time)…SOME people even think he’s still alive….but no matter what your opinion of him may be, there’s no denying the fact that Tupac Shakur continues to influence generations, even almost a decade and a half after his death.

PART 1


PART 2


PART 3

Longest Basketball Shot In History?

Some guys from an organization calling themselves Dude Perfect are claiming that this baseball-pass shot - from the third deck of the Texas A&M Aggies’ football stadium, down to the field below - is the "World's Longest Basketball Shot”:



Okay, I know what you’re thinking…..CAMERA TRICK, right? Digital manipulation, right? Well, Dude Perfect got you covered. Here’s a second camera angle, this time from the perspective of being down on the field:



Regardless, props go out to Dude Perfect for ANOTHER reason. See, they’re creating these videos for charity….for every 100,000 views they receive, they’ll sponsor a child living in poverty via an organization called Compassion International.

I dunno…I guess we’ll find out soon enough whether or not they doctored this….in the meantime, what do you think?

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

FEATURE: "The Myth Of Prince Charming"

[Disney's first African-American Princess, Tiana, from "The Princess and the Frog", Courtesy of Disney Studios 2009]

“All men are the same!”

“ Why can’t I find the perfect guy?”

“Where is my Mr. Right…someone who will love me for ME?”

Sound familiar? They should. These are the prevailing sentiments of single women worldwide as they struggle with their search to find “Prince Charming”.

This idea of the existence of a Prince Charming for every woman is a novel concept: a man, encompassing all the qualities that would make him her ideal candidate, comes along and sweeps a woman off her feet, effectively saving her from the doldrums of bachelorette living. He come with a sense of financial security, he’s attentive, caring, , sensitive and has a fantastic sense of humor…

Only problem is, ain’t no such person alive on God’s green. What most women fail to realize is that there’s no such thing as “The Pefect Man”. It’s an impossibly unattainable pipe dream of fallacy. Why? Because quite simply, there is no such thing as a perfect PERSON. If everyone was perfect, there’d be no wars, no murders…and moreso, no one would ever have relationship problems. Therefore, how could there ever be a perfect MAN in particular? Last time I checked, the only "Perfect Man" I know walked on water and was betrayed after a dinner party.....

“Mr. Right vs. Mr. Right NOW”

Under the Prince Charming ideology, marriage is the ultimate goal and the chief reason for the designation. Women seeking their Prince Charming expect to get MARRIED, not just shack up or “kick it” with some dude. The reality is…women don’t want boyfriends, they want HUSBANDS. It doesn’t sound as good to say “my boyfriend” (or worse still, “my baby daddy”). That is why so many women want to use the ubiquitous title “my FIANCE”…meaning, he ain’t the hubby yet, but she only got him a step or two from the altar and that lockdown (CLANK-CLANK!!)

As a result, most women end up SETTLING for a partner. That is, they get involved with a less-than-credible suitor more out of a sense of desperation than any nod to that man’s ACTUAL credentials. They would rather be with ANYONE than be alone. They become so afraid of the possibility of loneliness that they embrace adaption (in this sense, rationalizing under duress to adjust to the status quo) and accept the first guy to come along and show them any form of attention.

Strangely, however, the woman becomes disillusioned when that relationship doesn’t work out….never taking into account the fact that she DOOMED the relationship before it even started.

“He’s Awwright, But He’s not REAL…”

If a woman isn’t settling, she’s choosing the worst possible candidates as potential mates. She’s associating with guys possessing all those negatively-recessive attributes that she DOESN’T need.

It’s no secret that “women love bad boys”. Every woman is intrigued by the notion of the “rebellious hellion”, the thug who’ll provide a sense of excitement to her life. So shouldn’t it only make sense that most of the women who continuously seek out these types of men are the same ones habitually caught in that pattern leading to heartache?

Nonetheless, these women will still try to mold a Prince Charming out of some useless thug type. They are taught since they are little girls that “someday their prince will come”, and be transformed from lowly toad to Prince Charming. “I can CHANGE him!”, they think. These are the SAME types of women who are later left wondering why that thug dude treated her like crap and cheated on her and/or disrespected her…and yet STLL, she'll have the audacity to exclaim “See, this is why men ain’t s---!!”

“(Wo)Man In The Mirror”

Which brings us to the culpability issue – a woman FAILING to accept responsibility for her own faults, shortcomings and BAD CHOICES with respect to her failed relationships. Sure, a guy can disappoint you with his actions, but at what point do you start to think “well, if all the guys I get with are dogs, then MAYBE it’s ME…”?

Some women have to take responsibility for what they ALLOW to happen. For instance, you have women who’ll exclaim how they want a certain kind of man (e.g., kind, gentle, etc.), but then when they GET him they end up driving him away because of their own insecurities. Usually, these types of women are so used to bein’ dissed and dogged - and expecting the worst from men - that when a dude DOESN’T do them wrong, they can’t fathom it. So they lash out -and sometimes even sabotage the relationship (jealousy, constant nagging, etc.) - either consciously or subconsciously, because it’s more within their comfort level to have drama in their relationship. Sadly, it’s what they’re USED TO…yet they will often try to play the victim role in that situation, as if everyone should feel sorry for them.

At some point, women (AND men) have to know when to start considering the possibility that something THEY are doing is what keeps causing them to come up short in the love department. As potential partners, we have to take personal accountability into play. Many people aren't accountable for their choices and actions, and aren’t yet mature enough to understand that they need to remove themselves from unhealthy routines. These are the types of people who don’t need to be in relationships at ALL.
Look, ladies…I’m not saying the perfect guy for you isn’t out there. Love is always tinged with pleasant notions of hope, that’s what makes it great. Rather, the perfect GUY isn’t out there. Because it's highly unlikely you'll find the guy who’ll have EVERY quality you want.

You have to discern which qualities are the most important to YOU. Looking for a good father? A man who knows stability, and works hard every day? A man who will remain faithful no matter how greatly he is tempted out there in the world? Put a premium on those qualities most essential to YOUR happiness and well-being.

Only then will Mr. Right come into play…and not Mr. Get The Hell Outta My Face RIGHT Now….

"The Peeves"

Rantings from the maddest brotha on the planet

By The Angry Blackman

…so just exactly WHEN did it become taboo to whoop the asses of bad little kids?

Somehow, dishing out whoopins (not “whippings”, this ain’t a 1866 South Carolina plantation….also, not “spankings” that’s too “S&M”-like) to deservingly rotten children became politically incorrect. Like, for whatever reason you’re considered a “bad parent” if you give that kid the business on their backside in public.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been pissed off in a supermarket by some prepubescent urchin poppin’ off disrespectfully to their parental figure. Nothing makes you wanna wring a kid’s neck faster than hearing them say “I HATE you!” to their parents, even when you don’t KNOW them. These people should have their parental badges revoked, and hot pokers shoved up their nostrils….and their kids should be NFL punted across the damn parking lot.

Somewhere along the line, America, we got soft. We let society dictate that we NOT administer tough love on those children who need it most. This is what I wanna know…who was the dufus who decided that taking “time outs” was more effective than taking leather belts to little posteriors? I don’t want you to sit in the corner, you tiny terror; in fact, when I get done you won’t be able to sit at ALL.

The art of a good ass whoopin’ is underappreciated and lost on kids nowadays. Back in the days of yore, elders took PRIDE in how they tore your ass up, and even demonstrated championship form when engaged in putting the smack down. Truly, whoopin’ your monkey ass was elevated to an ARTFORM:

The Science Of Whoopin’ You With Whatever’s Handy. Nevermind a BELT…dude, you ever been whooped with an extension cord? A toy race car track (the orange ones wasn't no JOKE!)? Ever been made to get a switch off of a tree in order to whoop your OWN ass with (and don’t come back with the SHORT branch, that only made the whoopin’ worse)? And who can forget the ever-popular “beat your ass with my shoe” method?

The TECHNICAL Aspects of Whoopins. Technique is the key. To the connoisseur...the belt is swung repeatedly at the legs and butt, to where it’s got the kid dancin’ around like Mike Jackson with a hot rock in his shoe. This is almost always executed by holding one of the kid’s arms upright while wailing away on the lower torso (his other arm flails aimlessly around, trying to detract the blows). And don’t make the parent CHASE you around the room, it only made it worse. As a result, the kid usually just went limp and hung on for dear life as the parent whomped away angrily….

So let’s bring back them good ol’ fashioned “I’mma beat you until my arm is tired” ass whoopins. When your currently-obnoxious little snot nose becomes an adult, he/she will better appreciate how your having done so was all for the best…and if not, at least they’ll know you ain’t playin’ around with their punk asses next time you tell them to shut the hell up….buncha dirty little sunnuva…..

(**DISCLAIMER: the views and opinions expressed herein by The Angry Blackman are exclusively his own and do not represent the views of thenewblacklove.com or its members….even though, most of the time, this fool be on point with his…**)

Sports: NFL 2009 Season Preview

Look, let’s be clear off the top…NFL football is the greatest sport ever known to any man anywhere in the history of anything. To even remotely debate this should net you an open-handed slap in the mouth, or possibly a Timberland up your tush. No sport is more exciting, generates greater revenue (through TV and merchandising) or otherwise gets a young man SO hyped that his damn blood is boiling…American loves its football, and the NFL is the main reason why.

So as we prepare to kick off the 2009 NFL season on Thursday, we here at TNBL present our picks and analysis while attempting to answer five of this season’s biggest questions.

1. Who is this year's "2008 Tennessee Titans"?

We’re looking for that team that'll unexpectedly win a ton of games out of nowhere, as Tennessee did when they went 13-3 in 2008. The type of team that, the year previous, was terrible , and then suddenly started looking like world-beaters LAST year, to where you were like "When did THEY get this good?" We like the Green Bay Packers in this role. Solid QB play from Aaron Rodgers, who’s working with a deep receiving corps (led by Driver and Jennings), TWO game-breaking tight ends (Lee and Finley) and a finally-healthy Ryan Grant in the backfield. Don’t be shocked if they end up being THAT team.

2. Who is this year's Detroit Lions?

Yunno, the team most likely to go 0-16 this year? We pick the Detroit Lions...again. Next question.

3. Which player will have the biggest breakout season?

This could be a rookie, but it could also be a second-year player. We like Dwayne Bowe of the Kansas City Chiefs to emerge as a premier receiver in the AFC this year. Only because new QB Matt Cassel has to throw to SOMEBODY now that TE Tony Gonzales is gone. Bowe should see PLENTY of balls thrown his way.

4. Which division will be the most dominant (have the most teams with winning records)?

In other words, “Which division is the strongest?” Well, it’s a TIE….we like both the NFC North and the AFC North. Green Bay, Minnesota and Chicago are ALL Super Bowl contenders. They are all so strong, in fact, that they distract you from the disaster that is the Detroit Lions. As for the AFC North, the Steelers and the Ravens are among the class of the conference. Cincinnati is going to be better than people think, and Cleveland may not make the playoffs but they will likely give teams tougher games than expected.


5. Who will have THE MOST dominant defense?

We like the Pittsburgh Steelers to continue their dominance from last season, when they were ranked 1st or 2nd in almost every major defensive statistical category. To be sure, there are several teams (most notably, the Titans, Ravens, Cowboys and Vikings) whose defenses could be very good, but going wire to wire our money is on the defending champs.

Our division winners (listed first) and losers:

AFC EAST
New England – still the class of the division. Brady to Moss will still kill ANY team, and Belichick is still crafty enough to pull out the close ones. Should make a deep playoff run.
• Miami - still a year away from dominance. For one, they need a REAL quarterback. Once they get that, though....look out, rest of the division.
• NY Jets - WILL be good and might make the playoffs, but not good enough to beat the Patriots twice this year. Sanchez is likely the Rookie Of The Year, especially if he can get any semblance of a running game going behind him.
• Buffalo - Terrell Owens will have destroyed the team by the end of October.

AFC WEST
San Diego - when healthy, head and shoulder above the rest of the division. LT is due to return to form any day now, and Rivers to Gates is still a top tandem in the league.
• Denver – this team lost already simply for believing in Kyle Orton. If they also give up their best (and most troubled) receiver, then they're basement status. As it is, though, they're good enough to be second in THIS division, but not many others.
• Kansas City - ABSOLUTELY no offensive line and have lost their anchor in the offense with the departure of Tony Gonzales. Larry WHO? Exactly, that dude is so inconsistent and undependable that you can't even count on him to contribute this year.
• Oakland - will never win as long as Al Davis continues to runs the franchise into the dirt.

AFC NORTH
Pittsburgh – have the swagger, the experience, the running game, and that defense. The ONLY thing that can derail them from yet another postseason appearance is injuries.
• Baltimore - will be VERY tough, and will likely play Pittsburgh in the AFC Championship. Baltimore is one of the only teams I can see going into Foxboro and winning with no problem. They will be very, very good, especially if Flacco continues to look like a veteran.
• Cincinnati - will be MUCH better than we think anybody realizes, especially on defense. We predict them to make the playoffs this year.
• Cleveland – will struggle to go 7-9, but will play most games very tough.

AFC SOUTH
Tennessee – their defense and running game will be great, again. No matter who the QB is, those two things might be enough to get them through the division. Jeff Fisher knows how to control his gameplan to be effective, that's why the Titans always get those "sneaky" wins to where you look up and they've won 12-10.
• Indianapolis –they’re a darkhorse...they COULD be good, but there are questions about the new defensive coordinator. I understand they've tinkered a bit with their standard Cover 2 4-3 alignment and will now blitz more heavily with their safeties and LBs to improve their pass rush and be better in 3rd and long situations.
• Jacksonville - will struggle and be supplanted by a team like Cincy. I have ALWAYS questioned David Garrard's leadership (even though he's a really nice, good guy) and I think the health bug will catch up with their running game this year. And their receivers are mad suspect.
• Houston - have to show me they have a CONSISTENT running game first this season before I consider them another team who could "supplant" a previously-considered annual contender (e.g., Jacksonville, Denver). I'll know first-hand, too, because I have Slaton on my fantasy team....

NFC EAST

[Note: author is biased against the NFC East, and as such will not pick an individual team]

The NFC East is pretty much up for grabs. It all depends on which team emerges from underneath all their question marks:
• NY Giants – they COULD be world-beaters if they can move the ball down the field vertically. We know they can run but they have NO go-to receivers anymore. Their defense will be great, but not great enough to be on the field MORE than the offense.
• Philadelphia - could play in the Super Bowl this year….IF they can CONVERT IN THE %#@*&# RED ZONE (ahem…s’cuse me) and improve their defensive intensity. Omar Gaither was named starting MLB to replace Stewart Bradley. The Macho Harris Era begins with the offseason departure of Brian Dawkins. Write it down: Macho Harris will be a premier safety in the NFL within the next 2-3 years. Remember that you heard it from TNBL first.
• Dallas –yunno, they really ARE a good team, or at least, they SHOULD be better now that That Other idiot is gone. However, until they actually WIN in the playoffs we can’t give them the type of props to put them above the Eagles or the Giants. At least those two teams have BEEN there already, while Dallas hasn’t won a playoff game since the days of yesteryear…they’re like the Notre Dame of the NFL….
• Washington - will do what they always do…start strong, with Portis playing like an All Pro and Jason Campbell being accurate and effective. THEN, Portis will get injured, their defense (who to that point will have been playing great) will start giving up 30 and 40 points per contest, and by the end of the season they’ll be outta the playoff picture. Serves you right when you think you can simply throw money at a situation in order to win a title. Dan Snyder is such a loooo-HOOO-serrr-HERRRRR….

NFC WEST
Arizona - they win by default because the rest of the division is so craptacular. We WILL say this, though: there is NO WAY Kurt Warner stays healthy for the WHOLE year again.
• Seattle – is the only team who could actually SURPRISE people if they can put it all together. Arizona’s only competition in the division.
• St. Louis - has no defense whatsoever. Will score points themselves, but so what?
• San Francisco is not disciplined enough, especially on defense, and they STILL don’t have a QB. Also, Crabtree is only making it worse on himself by not being there.

NFC NORTH
Minnesota - Don’t get us wrong…Green Bay OR Chicago can both win this division, as well. But a REAL QB is all Minnesota needed to not only win this division, but possibly win the entire NFC. Adrian Peterson wasn’t as INJURED last year as some had expected (he was hurt, but he bounced back quickly each time) and Minny might have the best offensive line AND defensive line in the league. All they needed was the THREAT of a passing game. And say what you want about Diva Brett, he KNOWS how to deliver in that regard, and he KNOWS how to win. It’s all they needed. We think they win 11 or 12 games this year.
• Green Bay – will be very good, may even be among the best. However, the bottom line is that we don’t think they’re going to beat Minnesota TWICE this season because Favre has been just ITCHING for almost three years to play the Packers, and we think he’s going to go absolutely berserk when he does face them. In fact, we think he’ll have his best games against them this year.
• Chicago - listen….when their defense is healthy, you HAVE to consider them serious contenders. That will be the case this year. Plus, with the emergence of Matt Forte and now the addition of Jay Cutler (and we’re sorry, but Cutler is FAR, FAR better than ANYBODY they’ve had in there in the last half a decade), they can control the clock AND score points with the deep ball.

…oh, you thought we forgot Detroit?…well, they are pretty forgettable. But we all know they ain’t gon’ do nothin’, so why kick ‘em while they’re down? Oh wait, we just did, didn’t we?

D’AH well….

NFC SOUTH
Atlanta – we pick them over Carolina only because we have ZERO confidence in Jake Delhomme. Turner is a stud and Gonzales will have a Pro Bowl year. Matt Ryan is said to look “better than he did last season.”
• Carolina - probably stronger defensively than Atlanta, and have ample weapons, but again, Delhomme is far too up and down in our opinions in order for them to win this division. He COULD surprise, but we’re not betting on him this time.
• New Orleans - will likely be rather one-dimensional, even though Drew Brees is far too underrated as one of the best QBs in the entire league. Also, one Brees injury and they’re straight toilet bowl status.
• Tampa Bay - has far too many QB issues for our tastes. Defense will be good but running game and receiving corps are question marks, as well.

Sports Extra: NFL Season Opener Preview - Titans vs. Steelers

vs


It’s baaaack!

Yes, that couch-denting, beer belly inducing, artery-clogging fatty-snack-associated season is upon us, when the NFL is born anew! There are officially 31 teams equally footed (that is, ere’body is 0-0) with Super Bowl dreams. And yes, we here are TNBL realize there are actually 32 NFL teams, but c'mon, who REALLY counts Detroit?

To kick off 2009 in proper fashion, Thursday night’s season opener features the Tennessee Titans (13-3 in 2008) against the defending Super Bowl champion Pittsburgh Steelers (12-4 in 2008). The defending champs begin their title defense with this classic AFC rivalry game SIMMERING with subplots. AAAAAH…the undertones of this game make it the PERFECT season kickoff!

What? “Why?”?!? Is that what you just asked me? Dude, don’t you remember LAST season?

Travel with me back to Week 16….December 21, 2008. The Steelers lose to the Titans at Tennessee by the score of 31-14, in a game which was CHARGED with an electric playoff-like atmosphere. With the win, the Titans would claim the lead in the race for the top seed in the AFC. It was a violently hard-hitting, punishing game, with the Titans essentially bullying their way to the win…and then TAUNTING the Steelers afterwards.

What you may remember most was the camera catching several Titans players, led by RB LenDale White, stomping on a Steelers "Terrible Towel" on the sidelines in sheer disrespect, and overall mocking the Steelers smugly. Given that they lost the game and then also had to witness such blatant disses, it’s understandable that the STEELERS were pissed in their post-game interviews.

But the Steelers and the Titans never got the chance to play again afterwards. The Titans ended up losing to the Ravens in the divisional round of the playoffs, so the Steelers were never able to extract any measure of revenge. This will be the first time the two teams have met since THEN. The Steelers DEFINITELY remember those sideline antics, and would LOVE to meet over the middle to “chat” with Mr. White (and there damn sure won’t be tea served)….

…and this time they’re playing at Heinz Field…IN Pittsburgh.

Ohhhhhhh, momma….there’s gonna be alotta HARD HITTING FACTS in this one. Strap on the seat belts, people….

QUICK HITS:

• Steelers are 38-29 all-time in the regular season vs the Titans (including when they were the Houston Oilers)
• Titans head coach Jeff Fisher is 12-7 against the Steelers in his career
• Pittsburgh's Mike Tomlin is 0-1 against both Fisher and Tennessee as a head coach.



Jewelry Heist Gone Wrong....Straight Comedy!

Look for these guys to make an appearance soon on World’s Dumbest Criminals…an attempted robbery at a jewelry store goes awry when the stunned clerks decide to fight back:



FIRST of all…how do you own a jewelry store and NOT a gun? These fools are spraying the crooks with FIRE EXTINGUISHERS. You got several thousand dollars worth of inventory and you’re NOT strapped behind the counter? (That’s something I always respected about pawn shops, you even THINK of trying something and it’s a wrap, even the old lady in the back counting the MONEY is gonna pull out a piece….)

Secondly, and even WORSE, how are you gonna run up in the jewelry store all Billy Bad Ass with sledgehammers – like y’all about to straight wreak havoc and cause destruction, smashing the glass doors all dramatically and whatnot - and yet turn tail and run like scared little schoolchildren….from a FIRE EXTINGUISHER?

Let this be a lesson to all you dimwitted delinquents out there….don’t do the crime if…yunno…you aren’t gonna ACTUALLY do the damn crime….

Saturday, September 5, 2009

FEATURE: “He/She Got Game”…Is The Art Of Courtship Dead?

Y’all know the types…

Men, we ALL got those homies who stay braggin’ about how many women they know or associate with, the types who’re proud that they have a full roster of honeys in their phone logs…the type of dudes whose egos arrive in the room before THEY do.

Ladies, what about that homegirl that brags about how one dude “won’t stop callin’”, how another paid for her hair and nails, and how a third even paid her electric and phone bills?

Growing up, ere’body and they momma thinks they’re a “mack” or a “pimp” at some point (and yes, women can be macks, too). Having “game” – or, an ability to entice and induce members of the opposite sex to succumb to your will – is considered essential to your whole steez as a young person, ‘cause NOBODY wants to be looked at as someone with an inability to attract the opposite sex…or, “weak game”. This has been a staple of my generation’s thinking for decades, and continues to be for the younger generations of today.

But at what cost? The lost art of courting – the act of wooing the opposite sex by genuinely and honestly seeking their affections upon your initial meetings - has been a tragic by-product of this “quest for the conquest”. Be real…when a dude brings a woman flowers, for example, OTHER dudes consider that a “corny” gesture, and may even give him a tough time for it. He’s reminded that he’s “going soft”….that his “game is lame”…that his “mackin’ is lackin’”….that he’s “simpin’ wit’ his “pimpin’”….errruhh, you get the idea.

“The Game (And We Don’t Mean Kelsey Grammar’s Show)…”

I once had a female co-worker tell me:

“Women HAVE to play games with men…that’s how we weed out the good ones from the bad ones.”

Wow….so now being dishonest and manipulating his thinking while he still doesn’t know you is supposed to ENDEAR you to him? That’s what’s hot in the streets, men and women thinkin’ you can build something solid with another person after you’ve TRICKED them for the first few weeks/months of y’all knowin’ each other? How can you ever know the REAL essence of someone if you have to keep guessing who they are every so often?

“Playing the game” – aka, being deceitful, misleading or otherwise representing yourself in a manner that isn’t ACTUALLY a true depiction or representation of yourself for the purpose of appealing to, or making yourself seem attractive to, someone of the opposite sex – seems to be accepted as being “part of the deal” when you’re engaged in mackin’ the opposite sex. The ideology dictates that you partake in these illusory practices because “that’s just the way it is…”

COME ON, people…that whole sensibility is so wastefully retarded. Like, the entire premise behind doing it flies in the face of, and works to defeat, its purported ultimate GOAL, which is to find somebody that truthfully makes you happy. Me? I’m married. Happily. But my co-worker friend’s line of thinking reminds me of exactly WHY I got married in the first place.

“You’ve Got The Job!”

New millennium courting is akin to applying for a job. First of all, the person you’re interested in has to be HIRING. If they’re not taking apps, you’re wasting your time. Second, you have to be a qualified employee…do you have all the required qualifications to fill the position? There may be more people than just YOU employed there….how do you go about setting yourself apart from the pack such that you claim that Employee Of The Month/Year title and take that job completely off the market?

Point being, it’s a process that involves lots of “sleight of hand”, if you will, as you maneuver yourself towards getting completely on that person’s good side. Hence, my chief problem with the game…at what point do you STOP playing the role and start truly showing that person the REAL you? Like, when do you ”turn it off”? What if you do it too late? Like, you put some poor soul through the ringer to see if he (or she) will “pass the test” or whatever, and then you deem them “worthy” of your time, but suddenly they’re no longer interested because you played too many games to start off with?

“The Choice Is Yooooours…”

When considered in this light, it becomes clear that “playing the game” will NEVER net you a long-term mate who generates enough serious potential such that it makes you want to marry them. I mean, how CAN it? If everyone is putting on airs and playing roles in order to make themselves look good enough to be given CONSIDERATION for long-term commitment, once the relationship begins isn’t the entire foundation of that relationship based on a lie? You can’t build a foundation with faulty materials….

The game is stupid because it’s unnecessary. True communication will always win out over running game, especially the direct approach to communicating. For instance, men will typically string women along until the point when the woman lets him get intimate with her...then he may lose interest or otherwise stop acting as caring and attentive as he initially did. If your SOLE intent is to be with someone for “fun”, then make that known off the top. See, most men don’t do that because they THINK a woman won’t be agreeable to it, as well...when oftentimes, most women would rather you be honest about your expectations up front than string her along and cause her to start falling for you, only for her to discover later that you got three more just LIKE her. Both men AND women should give that other person the benefit of the doubt that they will be able to deal with a direct, HONEST approach upfront.

The bottom line is…if you’re in the market for a mate, you’re gonna hafta carefully weigh those options. Do you wanna go through the same ol’, same ol’ and end up disillusioned, or are you gonna keep it REAL, a whole hunnid, and upfront with the person you’re interested in?

Black Sheep done already TOLDEDED y’all: the choice is yours.

(Just don’t come crying when you discover that he really DOESN’T own a condo and actually sleeps in his momma’s basement…AND that he’s $300 behind on his rent to her….)

SIDEBAR: The Science Of The Pick-Up Line

Sometimes my brethren really know how to misrepresent for mankind and screw it up for the REST of us.

You got dudes who’re always thinking they have to act a certain way, or say certain THINGS, in order to approach women. Like they ain’t gonna be successful any other way…no matter HOW many times you tell him that he’s on straight Ringling Bros. status, sounding like a major clown.

Seriously, do pick up lines even WORK anymore? In other words, can a guy still come up to a female and say something SO profoundly clever and appealing that it instantly causes her to develop an interest and/or desire to pursue things further?

Sure, it’s POSSIBLE. But it damn sure ain’t the norm anymore. Women these days are too smart to fall for some silly come-on and, with guys forever using the lamest possible pick-up lines ever conceived, they’re not making the situation any better….or making it any easier on themselves to get the digits.

Here are, in no particular order, the 20 corniest, most worn-out, absolute WORST pick-up lines sure to make a woman laugh out loud in your face…or throw a cup of hot coffee in your lap (and please, feel free to comment on any others you’ve heard that you think may be worse):

1. "Hey do you have any (Black, White, Latino, Asian, etc.) in you?" "You WANT some?"
2. "Did you wash them jeans in Windex? Because I can see myself in your pants…"
3. "If I told you that you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?"
4. "Are your parents from Iraq? Because I think you're the BOMB!"
5. “Did it hurt? Yunno, when you fell from Heaven?”
6. "If you're left leg was Thanksgiving, and your right was Christmas, would you mind if I visited you between the holidays?"
7. "I forgot my phone number. Can I have yours?"
8. "Do you have a map? I just keep getting lost in your eyes.”
9. "I hope you know CPR, because you just took my breath away."
10. "Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?"
11. [Asks to look at her shirt tag] "Baby, I was just checkin' to see if you were made in Heaven."
12. “Nice dress! It would look GREAT on the floor next to my bed.”
13. “Nice jewelry! It would look GREAT on my nightstand.”
14. [Sticks a rose in her face] “I just wanted to show this rose how pretty YOU were…”
15. “I'd look good on you.”
16. “I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?”
17. “Girl, you MUST be tired…’cause you've been running through my mind all night.”
18. “Your place or mine?”
19. “Bond...JAMES Bond…..”

…and of course, the ever-popular:

20. “Look here, baby...why don’t you go ‘head and gimme your number before I don’t want it no more…”

Hey, here’s some advice that can NEVER fail….just be yourself. In the end, you doing you is the only way to truly represent and convey that which makes you a REAL prime candidate.

Unless you’re a dweeb...in which case, act like Denzel in Out Of Time, he was pretty schmoove in that flick….

Music News: New Jay-Z Ad Recreates All His Album Covers

How cool is THIS? Jay’s promotional ad for his new album, The Blueprint 3, depicts him reenacting all his album cover photos.

HOV!!

Movie Review: “The Final Destination 3D”

By The Scribe
-----------------------------
TNBL RATING SYSTEM:
$$$$$ - W
orth every penny!
$$$$
- G
ood show, I ain’t mad at it…
$$$
- E
hhh…mebbe I’ll catch it on cable
$$
- B
ooty! Not even on bootleg!
$
-
MAN HELL NAW! Gimme my damn money back!
-----------------------------


The movie's tagline claims “Death Saved The Best For Last”. HARDLY. More like “death had warmed-up leftovers that had been in the fridge for two weeks and tried to repackage it to YOU as a freshly-prepared Sunday meal, KNOWIN you already knew they made that crap last Tuesday….”

New Line Cinema is back for the third go-round with its “slasher flick with a twist” take on horror films [$$ outta $$$$$]. This time, the hapless Nick (Bobby Campo) gets that old familiar feelin’ that death is imminent for himself and everyone else at the NASCAR-like racing event he’s attending with his girlfriend and friends (all of whom are so utterly forgettable in their performances that their names don’t even warrant mention here). And as with the previous films, those who are able to cheat death at the racing event – thanks in big part to Nick’s visions and frantic insistence – each, one by one, succumb to the inevitability of their own demises under the Grim Reaper’s twisted design…

I won’t say the movie is BAD, but…okay, I will say that. But then again, you already KNOW what you’re getting when you fall up in the theater to see a movie in this franchise: scene after scene of mayhem, dismemberments, decapitations and impalements, accompanied by laughable plots, tired dialogue and less than credible acting. In that respect, the movie most definitely delivers. As with the previous movies in the franchise, each death is more creative (and more impossibly improbable….I love how wires magically “travel” by themselves) and gets its desired effect…I heard plenty of “OOOHS!” and “DAAAAAAAAYUUUUUMS!” in the theater (mostly from this guy in front of me who stuck his gum behind his ear while eating his popcorn, then stuck it back in his mouth after his tub was empty….so what, now you just gon’ be loud AND nasty?).

The movie’s opening sequence, during the credits, is particularly ill (as in, “very good”, for the slanguage-challenged): edited reenactments of deaths from the earlier movies (including the Flight 180 plane crash from the first movie) violently executed in an exoskeletal fashion (think CSI). Great visuals, literally “eye-popping”. The gore and body count in this one is even more enjoyable – as morbid as that sounds - due to the surprisingly effective 3-D effects in the movie Bones flying at you, blood spurting on you, fire shooting towards you…aside from the deaths, it was the best thing about the whole experience. In fact, they were the best 3D effects I’ve seen in a movie – IN a theater - in ages.

This movie is what it is, and you’re gonna either take it for what it’s worth or leave it alone. I still wouldn’t rent this jawn personally, and would probably turn from it if I caught it on cable late one night. But that’s just me.

Ultimately, if you’re lookin’ for cinematic brilliance, then don’t bother with this one. But if you’re in it for the bedlam and bloodshed, you’ll likely be entertained for a few strong minutes…..

(And don’t let them tell you to put those 3D glasses in that recycle bin, take those suckers home with you….hell, you PAID for ‘em….)

Sports News: Oregon Football Player Snuffs Boise St. Player

It’s the punch heard ‘round the college football world…Oregon senior RB LeGarrette Blount DROPS (literally) Boise State defensive end Byron Hout following Oregon’s 19-8 loss to Boise St. on Thursday night (Sept 3rd).



As you can see at the start of the video, Hout slapped Blount on the shoulder pads and mocked him on his team’s loss (before the game, there had been serious trash talk exchanged between Blount and other Boise St. players in response to last year’s game, where Boise St. thrashed Oregon…Blount was adamant that “we owe them a butt whoopin’ from last year”, or something…so when Hout approached him, Hout probably said something like “SOOOOO….how’d that whole butt whoppin’ thing work out for ya, hah?”)

WHATEVER he said, Blount didn’t like it. As the video shows, he even had to be restrained from jumping on some Boise St. fans while he was being dragged out, kicking and screaming, by the Oregon coaching staff and stadium security.

Reaction from the team and the Pac-10 was swift…Oregon coach Chip Kelly suspended Blount for the entire season. While Blount’s suspension includes bowl games, he will remain on scholarship and will continue to practice with the team.

Meanwhile, Hout won’t be suspended at all for taunting Blount. Boise State spokesman Max Corbet told The Associated Press in an e-mail that Petersen “planned to spend time with Hout this week to help him learn from what happened.”

Does this seem fair? If Blount is gonna be suspended for the whole year, thus ENDING his football career, should Hout also have to face SOME form of discipline for provoking the whole thing in the first place?

What do you think?

Sports Extra: "The Artistry of Michael Jordan, Parts I & II"...Outtakes by Hoopsencyclopedia

Quite simply…he was the most insanely skilled homosapien in the history of the hardwood. Hoopsencyclopedia has put together this SICK, two-part compilation of MJ moments that showcase exactly why he is the undisputed G.O.A.T. There’ll never be another!

PART I:


PART II:

Thursday, September 3, 2009

FEATURE: "Cyber Creepin'"...Is It Possible To Cheat Online?

Yunno….it’s hard to believe that, in 2009, there are STILL people who think there’s nothing wrong with being in a relationship yet secretly communicating romantically with someone else over the internet. These people don’t see anything inherently wrong with “getting involved” with someone else online.

Really, the title of this article is rhetorical…because HELL YEAH it’s not only possible to cheat online, but for those so deviously inclined, it’s remarkably EASY to do.

Cyber creepin’ -or “cyber straying”, as the less cool would phrase it – occurs when two people who have never met in real life have online communications which are inappropriate in nature. Yeah, yeah, I hear you now, sitting there going, “…well, what constitutes ‘inappropriate’?” Well, for the most part...if you’re a purported ADULT in a committed relationship, you pretty much should know better when it comes to discerning what behavior would be considered “going over the line.” Basically, if you’re doing something which totally goes against the supposed principles upon which you based your relationship or marriage, then you're likely living foul on some inappropriate tip.

Still don’t understand? Okay, well….in ghetto layman’s terms, you know DAMN WELL your girl Quanisha would go upside your head with the nearest skillet if she saw that you just told some thick honey in Phoenix on blackplanet.com– whose profile picture is of her bent over suggestively in a cheerleader’s uniform - that you would “love to palm her pom-poms….”

“I Don’t See What The Problem Is…”
The main question these folks have surrounding whether it’s possible to cheat online is:

“How can you consider someone unfaithful if they never see or physically meet the person with whom they’re supposedly creepin’?”

Let’s put this in its proper perspective….social networking sites have changed everything about the way we communicate with each other, and particularly with the opposite sex. At work, at home, and even on the go through our mobile devices and cell phones, we’re able to post EVERY minute detail about ourselves for the rest of the world to see. Technology provides instant access to anyone, anywhere, at anytime.

So because of this ready-access, obviously it doesn’t really take much effort to cheat online. You can easily get at someone on the low-low in a variety of manners: via email, on forum message boards, in chat rooms, posting on their Myspace or Facebook pages (……aaaah, Facebook. I know people in relationships who consider the biggest downfall to a site like Facebook is that it’s very easy to SIMULTANEOUSLY correspond inappropriately with LOTS of people of the opposite sex. For the weaker-minded, it’s like a buffet of debauchery that spawns the worst kind of lames possible. Ain’t nothin’ sorrier than some herb who worked on his profile photo for two hours, taking 100 flicks on his Blackberry just to get the right shot for the profile, constantly changing his mind about certain poses…yeah, you’re way over the top with it, bruh. Stop it.) Since the WAY people can stay in touch has changed, it’s only natural that new methods for cheating would follow suit.

Cheating online is often referred to as having an “emotional affair”. Because even if you don’t physically act on feelings you may have for someone else, by continuing to engage in flirting or sharing of feelings or emotions via the Internet WITH that person you are violating the intimacy of your relationship with your current significant other.

"I'm A Flirt"
Let’s say you’re walking through the mall, arm-in-arm with your significant other….how comfortable do you think he/she would feel if you were winkin’ at every guy/girl that passed by, or saying to them, “Damn you look good!”, right in your significant other’s face? Yeeeeeeah, not very. The only difference between that scenario and doing it online is the form of, and proximity to, the person with whom you’re flirting. In other words, flirting is flirting, no matter how it’s executed.

R&B crooner Trey Songz has a song talkin’ about some woman sendin’ him messages and ending her sentences with “LOL” and inserting smiley faces (by the way...I HATE that damn song, what a craptacular display of musical prowess. How mindlessly droning is that garbage, I mean, I’d rather listen to two cats getting repeatedly run over by a lawnmower…). Now if you’re a MARRIED man, and you lewdly whistle at a woman in public, I’m here to tell you that there’s not much difference between THAT and sending a woman an email with the gang of smiley faces and suggestive language. And I DAMN SURE bet that your wife would be just as mad in either instance.

"Once UPORN A Time…” - Cyber Creepin’ and Porn
Some think watching porn online is a form of cheating. Now see, that’s getting dicey with it…because there is a noticeable distinction between the two. With porn, your mate feels violated because of the idea that you’ve replaced them with the image or likeness of another, in either video or photo format. In that respect, watching porn is a “single party” affair….cause it’s not like you can accuse someone’s PALM of being a home wrecker.

Cyber creepin’, on the other hand, presents a different and more pronounced violation because in that instance a partner is stealing instances of intimacy which should exist in their own marriage or relationship and instead directing them towards another REAL person. The person they’re cyber creepin’ with actively responds to, and promotes, actual feelings from YOUR partner, causing the two to develop their own sense of intimacy outside of your relationship.

To be CLEAR…you really don’t want your partner to be doing EITHER. But given the choice, would you rather let him/her get away with ordering “Slutty Young Co-Eds” on pay per view, or would you rather want to consider whether to hire Joey Greco to follow him/her around?

“I Saw The Signs…”
….so how do you determine just what IS going on between your significant other and that heifer in Hoboken? In many ways, someone engaged in cyber creepin’ will exhibit all the same signs as someone having a traditional affair outside of their relationship. Here are some good indicators that your mate might be gettin’ it in behind your back:

1. Devoting more attention to being online than being with you. Your partner might be distracted and unable to focus on you or your relationship. Those long talks y’all used to have? The time spent taking long rides to the shore? Those moments shared vandalizing vending machines on some “Bonnie & Clyde” tip? All gone. Instead, he/she favors spending large amounts of time on the computer to your company.

2. Overly secretive or sneaky behavior. Is your partner logging on at weird times, maybe after they think you’ve gone to sleep or early in the AM before you wake up? It might be that they don’t want you to see what they’re doing. They may also do things like shut the door to the computer room when they’re in there alone, or otherwise try and hide/minimize their screen if you suddenly walk into the room. They may also say they have to go into work early, or stay late at work, when they’re actually cyber creepin’ it up with someone else.

3. High volume of traffic to a specific person’s profile. Pretty much every social networking site - whether it’s Facebook, Myspace, whatever – gives its members the capability of editing an online profile, where one can leave comments for other people, post links, photos and videos, etc. And on a lot of those profiles, you can SEE who’s most recently visited the profile. So if your husband has made 30 visits to the profile page for “Mz. GottaBooty” over the last week, you MIGHT wanna see what’s good with that…..

4. Several emails to the same person under the “Sent Items” folder. I’m pretty sure your wife isn’t emailing "chocolategodbody@yahoo.com” to ask him for cookie recipes. And I’m even MORE sure that her inclusion of 12 smiley emoticons in response to him saying “I’d love to meet you…” is an indication that she might soon be telling you she’s signed up for a new night class ….that, uh, meets every night….for seven days a week…in the next county

Bottom line? Don’t get into a relationship until your desire for “conquest” is gone (or, in the immortal words of MC Chubb Rock, until “the skeezer in you dies”). If you don’t think you’re mature enough for a commitment yet, then don’t get INTO one and you won’t have to worry about being tempted by some online Hottie McHotness. That way, no one’s time will have been wasted, people won’t hafta suffer unnecessary heartbreak, and women won’t hafta bust the windows outta dudes' cars….

Let’s all grow up people, hah?

FACEBOOK BREAK UP: Very Funny But True Video On How Facebook Has Been Messing Up Relationships

The good folks over at Throwd Up TV concoct a CLASSIC skit regarding the ever-popular social networking site. Very clever, tongue-in-cheek representation….those in relationships, be warned!

Album Review: Jay-Z's "Blueprint 3" Represents Rapper’s Shift In Focus

By Joe Momma
Music Editor

Jay-Z is a chameleon…always changing to adapt to hip-hop’s current environment. That’s been his steez his whole career. It’s how he’s maintained his relevancy for so long….yes, Shawn Carter has set plenty of trends, but he also knows that in order to appeal to an ever-evolving hip-hop populace, he needs to adjust his sound to what TODAY’S fans want to hear.

It is with this sensibility in tow that I think he went into recording The Blueprint 3 (*** outta five), his eleventh studio album release.

Why do I say that? Because the album is a distinct departure from his core sound, or rather, what we’re “used to” hearing from Jay-Z. Some critics who’ve reviewed the album are hailing it amongst his best works, citing his artistic maturation and development as a testament to his continued hunger for setting himself apart from the rest of the rap pack.

Unfortunately, this is part of my problem with the album…even though I realize it’s selfishly motivated.

Don’t get me wrong, I applaud Jay for shunning conventional norms and ideologies about what his songs are SUPPOSED to sound like. He clearly stepped away from any “comfort zone” with this jawn, and took some experimental chances with his sound. That’s the only way to grow as an artist, and it’s honestly the only way the culture is going to properly age. Lord knows there’s already too much cookie-cutter crap on the radio as it is.

But that’s just it…to me, Jay's lane has never been FORCED pop music. Historically, when you examine all his biggest hits? He NATURALLY makes "street and club" music that just so happens to end up producing huge pop hits. Lookit a song like "Big Pimpin'", I would bet that Jay, UGK and Timbo didn't make that jawn with the SPECIFIC intent of getting radio spins. Same with "Give It To Me", I'm not seeing a deliberate attempt to get that on Top 40 pop radio. Jay's own popularity SWAYED the pop crowd over to him.

Therein lies my issue with this album. I'm not so sure you can apply that rationale to some of these songs on BP3. The thing I don't like the most about Jay’s latest work is the fact that it sounds like Jay-Z doing his impersonation of a Kanye West album. Like, if this album would've been released as Kanye’s new album, musically it would've been hailed as "brilliant". The beats on this jawn fit Kanye’s steez BETTER than they do Jigga’s. Kanye is able to pull off the "selectively straddling pop success" schtick a lot more credibly than Jay.

Things start off marvelously with the stoic "What We Talkin' About", as Jay addresses his detractors and critics over a knockin’ Kanye and No I.D. track. The masterful “Thank You” showcases his most nimble flow since back when he was still guesting with Original Flavor (do your research!) over another absolute Kanye BANGER. Showcasing the new young talent, Jay lets Drake ride shotgun on the hook for the Timbaland produced, dance floor ready “Off That”, and gives some shine to his newest Roc Nation protégé, J. Cole, on the Kanye/No I.D. joint “A Star Is Born” (except WHY is he using AUTO-TUNE on this track? Isn’t he “anti-auto-tune”, as he says in the opening of the album's lead single, “D.O.A. - Death Of Auto-Tune”? HYPROCRITE much, Shawn?). Jay also gets busy for the streets with Young Jeezy on the anthemic “Real As It Gets”, then goes for broke over soulful piano loops courtesy of the lovely Ms. Alicia Keys on “Empire State Of Mind”. Alongside the “who told him he could sing?” crooning of Neptunes producer Pharrell, Jay spits game on the groovin’ “So Ambitious”.

Problem is, the songs comprising the REST of the album cause it to quickly lose steam. The radio-friendly “Run This Town” with Rihanna and Kanye, as well as aforementioned "D.O.A.", have never been favorites, and with each successive listen become more and more fast-forwardable. Rihanna’s appearance in particular is a sore point, as the lanky R&B diva’s annoying wails detract from the rest of the song. The Swizz Beats produced “On To The Next One” should take its own advice (although I guarantee you that song will be blowing up the clubs before the end of the month). Songs like “Venus vs. Mars”, “Hate” (again featuring Kanye) and “Reminder” - produced by Timbaland, Kanye and Timbaland again, respectively – are straight forgettable and should have been left on the cutting room floor.

But the two biggest gripes I have are with the cuts “Already Home” and “Forever Young”. “Already Home”, featuring newcomer Kid Cudi and produced by Kanye, COULD be dope if the hook wasn’t so damn CORNY. The track itself has potential, and Jay’s flow is on point, but overall the song just….UGH. It would have to grow on you, in my opinion, and frankly I don’t have the patience. “Forever Young”, on the other hand, is just hopeless. A BLATANT attempt at pop radio, the song lost me IMMEDIATELY with its cheesy '80s synth and British wailing to start off the song, courtesy of “the next big thing in R&B”, newcomer Mr. Hudson. Sorry, but he sounds more like a broke ass version of Sting than a fresh new artist. I don’t hear any originality in his voice whatsoever, and the happy ass “skip to my lou” feel of the song makes me wanna kick a hole in my speaker, pull the plug and then jet….

Look, I don't dismiss Jay OVERALL because of what I perceive are missteps on this album. I don't like THIS album, but that doesn't mean I think Jay is "done", which is an ill-conceived perception currently making the rounds on the internet...the idea that this album proves Jay is "past his prime". THAT, my friends, is crap. If anything, this album solidifies Jay as one of the greatest emcees of all time. As much as I dislike a lot of these tracks musically, he's flowing his ASS OFF over all of them, with excellent flow variance, diverse bar structures, expanded vocab....he KILLS this album lyrically.

Overall, as a Jay-Z fan your opinion of this album will be based on what you’re willing to ACCEPT from Jay at this point in his career. Personally, I see more bad than good. The good is VERY good...it's just that the bad is also VERY bad.

"The Peeves"

Rantings from the maddest brotha on the planet

By The Angry Blackman

AIIIIIGHT…ENOUGH with the dumbass reality shows already!

Don’t get me wrong, the RIGHT reality show can be pretty entertaining. And the reality shows that used to air when it was still a fairly new phenomenon were particularly ROFL-worthy. Hell, I used to watch “Temptation Island” on the regular, only because I got some pretty good laughs watching happy couples think that being placed on an island with “beautiful people”, purposely separated and then made to endure serious tests of their love was a good idea.

But somewhere along the line, it became trendy to give ANYBODY a damn reality show. Be honest, you HAD to have known that things had hit rock-bottom when VH-1 gave New York and her ugly ass momma their own show…please, I’ve seen more personality in a dead aardvark than that chain-smoking hoebag (and SERIOUSLY, why IS her momma so damn ugly? Her face looks like something I stepped in at a kennel…lookin’ like somebody dipped a gargoyle in fudge…).

Here are the Top 5 reality shows pissing me off the most these days:

• The T.O. Show – lemme be clear…I CANNOT STAND Terrell “Male Diva” Owens as it is, so tell me again why I would be interested in a weekly glimpse into his PERSONAL life? Nevermind that much of the show seems forced and scripted…the whole show is just BORING as all hell. In fact, it’s EASIER to simply list all the things I’d RATHER be doing than watching this damn clown showcase: getting a root canal...shaving Star Jones’ back...having my throat scraped with a dull rusty scalpel….uh, getting a tax audit from Bill O'Reilly…you get the idea.

• ”Real Housewives Of…” Anywhere – Atlanta, New Jersey, Orange County, I don’t care…LITERALLY, I don’t care. Why should I concern myself with the doings of some spoiled rich suburban skanks? These heifers have no redeeming value other than to TRY to look pretty for the camera, which is a stretch considering that, facially, most of them look like something the dog threw up, examined, ate again, and then threw up again.

• “Real Chance At Love” – seriously, who told these two lame ass herberts that they had the right appeal for not only ONE season, but a return season? What coonery, watching a bunch of disingenuous chickens cluck over two classless retards who otherwise likely couldn’t get hired cleaning out the fry bins at Arby’s. “I really love Chance, I feel this real connection with him….”…TRICK, NO YOU DON’T! How can you feel a connection with somebody you just met three hours ago? Get off the damn airwaves, you loo-HOOO-sers….

• My Super Sweet 16”- arguably one of THE worst offenders on the list. A bunch of over-privileged, obnoxiously rotten teens plan their overpriced birthday parties, throw tantrums at their parents for “ruining their lives”, and YET by the end of the show they’re driving off in brand new $70,000 luxury vehicles. Yeah, life’s fair….I’d only recommend this show if you’re fond of screaming at your television.

• “Bridezillas” – hey yeah, let’s watch the gang of high-strung bitchy bride-to-be’s yell at their loved ones, henpeck their grooms-to-be and generally make life miserable for everyone all in the name of “making HER day perfect”! How enjoyable, right? Seriously, I’d rather you cut off my eyelids and keep taking my picture with a camera with a bright ass flash….

So enough with the wack reality shows already. With each successive new show, it’s like these networks aim solely to broadcast THE MOST sensationalist bullcrap possible so as to boost ratings….what’s next, live human sacrifices in front of a firing squad? I can see it now: “Don’t miss ‘Who Wants To Catch A Hot One?’, Thursdays on FOX!...”

(**DISCLAIMER: the views and opinions expressed herein by The Angry Blackman are exclusively his own and do not represent the views of thenewblacklove.com or its members….even though, most of the time, this fool be on point with his…**)

Controversial New Ad Simulates 9/11 Tragedy...

Check out this controversial advertisement from the World Wildlife Fund, which depicts several planes simultaneously speeding towards the World Trade Center twin towers in suicidal fashion.

I understand being brazen to make an important point, so as to bring attention to your cause, but isn't this a bit insensitive to the families of the people that died that day? What do you think?