SIDEBAR: The Science Of The Pick-Up Line

Sometimes my brethren really know how to misrepresent for mankind and screw it up for the REST of us.

You got dudes who’re always thinking they have to act a certain way, or say certain THINGS, in order to approach women. Like they ain’t gonna be successful any other way…no matter HOW many times you tell him that he’s on straight Ringling Bros. status, sounding like a major clown.

Seriously, do pick up lines even WORK anymore? In other words, can a guy still come up to a female and say something SO profoundly clever and appealing that it instantly causes her to develop an interest and/or desire to pursue things further?

Sure, it’s POSSIBLE. But it damn sure ain’t the norm anymore. Women these days are too smart to fall for some silly come-on and, with guys forever using the lamest possible pick-up lines ever conceived, they’re not making the situation any better….or making it any easier on themselves to get the digits.

Here are, in no particular order, the 20 corniest, most worn-out, absolute WORST pick-up lines sure to make a woman laugh out loud in your face…or throw a cup of hot coffee in your lap (and please, feel free to comment on any others you’ve heard that you think may be worse):

1. "Hey do you have any (Black, White, Latino, Asian, etc.) in you?" "You WANT some?"
2. "Did you wash them jeans in Windex? Because I can see myself in your pants…"
3. "If I told you that you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?"
4. "Are your parents from Iraq? Because I think you're the BOMB!"
5. “Did it hurt? Yunno, when you fell from Heaven?”
6. "If you're left leg was Thanksgiving, and your right was Christmas, would you mind if I visited you between the holidays?"
7. "I forgot my phone number. Can I have yours?"
8. "Do you have a map? I just keep getting lost in your eyes.”
9. "I hope you know CPR, because you just took my breath away."
10. "Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?"
11. [Asks to look at her shirt tag] "Baby, I was just checkin' to see if you were made in Heaven."
12. “Nice dress! It would look GREAT on the floor next to my bed.”
13. “Nice jewelry! It would look GREAT on my nightstand.”
14. [Sticks a rose in her face] “I just wanted to show this rose how pretty YOU were…”
15. “I'd look good on you.”
16. “I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?”
17. “Girl, you MUST be tired…’cause you've been running through my mind all night.”
18. “Your place or mine?”
19. “Bond...JAMES Bond…..”

…and of course, the ever-popular:

20. “Look here, baby...why don’t you go ‘head and gimme your number before I don’t want it no more…”

Hey, here’s some advice that can NEVER fail….just be yourself. In the end, you doing you is the only way to truly represent and convey that which makes you a REAL prime candidate.

Unless you’re a dweeb...in which case, act like Denzel in Out Of Time, he was pretty schmoove in that flick….