Look, it doesn't matter if you're Black and your mate is PURPLE....certain practices and applied traits/habits are going to ensure that your relationship is a successful one.
In no particular order, thenewblacklove presents our top ten characteristics of a successful relationship,
1. Good communication. Likely THE #1 key to any successful relationship. Problem is, not many couples know HOW to maintain great lines of communication. A couple's ability to openly express their feelings to each other, without fear of emotional backlash, can foster the precise type of trusting and respectable environment in which any relationship would surely flourish. In other words, keep it real with each other, but also keep it RESPECTABLE with each other.
2. Friendship. Look, ANY couple who shares a strong friendship is going to have some staying power. In such instances, they've not only got love for each other, but they genuinely LIKE each other as people. They enjoy each others' company, and might even say they're “best friends”. Hell, that's half the battle right there!
3. Shared Sense of Humor. It's true....laughter IS the best medicine. Couples who can make each other laugh tend to share an overall good-natured vibe. Plus, it's kinda hard to argue with someone if they have a propensity to make you crack up in the middle of the conflict.
4. “Sharing The Load”. Couples who divvy up the financial, household or parenting responsibilities in a mutually agreed upon way are less likely to hold resentments about carrying a larger burden , or what they perceive as “unfair” in the relationship. Since each partner contributes, there's a greater sense of balance to the relationship.
5. Sexual Intimacy. Okay, let's keep it all the way real...while it's not the MOST important thing, sex is paramount to any successful relationship. Since people's sexual drives vary greatly, it's important for partners to stress to each other what keeps them satisfied. Some people are highly active and need to do it several times a week; others are satisfied with far less. Just make sure there is proper “negotiation” so that neither partner feels neglected by the other.
6. Showing Affection. Staying in physical contact with your mate throughout the day in some form or fashion often produces genuine feelings of being loved. It doesn't have to be a situation where sex is imminent; rather, small gestures that show that you love them can say a lot without ever having to utter those three words. Whether it’s a hug, a ginger kiss, or even a tenderly-placed touch, such acts of affection tend to keep couples satisfactorily connected.
7. Accepting Personal Culpability. Nothing guarantees a relationship's failure with greater expediency than putting two people together who don't know how to apportion the blame for causing the relationship's problems. No relationship is one-sided...it takes two to tango. So one partner consistently accusing the other of shady behavior, or one partner showing defensiveness, may be indications of a partner not accepting their fair share of the blame.
8. Having Mutual and Separate Friends. Partners who maintain their own separate circles of friends, but who also integrate their partner into that social circle from time to time, achieve a greater balance in honoring themselves as individuals within the relationship, giving birth to a truer appreciation for that partner and the relationship.
9. Dependability. How trustworthy is your partner? Could they come through for you in the clutch...or will they wither away? As mates, we all want our partners to get on some tip: “do what they say, say when they MEAN...one thing leads to another...”. In order words, don't talk about it, BE about it. Successfully doing this establishes a comfort level for leveraging the weight of your words with your partner.
10. Foresight. A key component to longevity. Where do you each SEE the relationship in the next year? Two years? Five to ten years? Partners must first be willing to understand what they're trying to get out of the relationship, then must accept the expectations upon them from their significant other if they're thinking about long-term commitment. If your significant other isn't ready to discuss those types of questions, however, you probably should think harder about the future of your relationship.
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good stuff. unlike most of the guys i know, i have found marriage easier than dating, because taking care of my wife and her needs is my nature. marriage is about the long run for both of us, not just getting what you can while you can.
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