SIDEBAR: “Heard It All Before”: The Top Ten Excuses For Cheating

Cheaters never win, and they also never change the lame excuses they use to explain away their actions. Rarely will they ever place the blame on themselves…it’s always someone else’s fault that they, the cheater, strayed from fidelity.

Here are the top ten excuses cheaters give for doing someone dirty:

1. “I don't love you/am not in love with you anymore.” Loss of affection remains at the top of the list. The cheater is quick to give up on someone in whom they’ve “lost interest”.

2. “It's not you, it's me.” This is an age-old ploy on the part of the cheater. By trying to attribute their infidelity to some inexplicable “personal issue”, cheaters conveniently absolve themselves from causing hurt feelings in their partner.

3. “I need some space.” This excuse is most prominently used by those cheaters who don’t necessarily want to give up on their partner ENTIRELY, but rather, who would rather create an environment where they are less likely to be CAUGHT.

4. “You deserve better.” Aaaah, good ol’ self-depreciation. Nothing throws the blame off of a cheater faster than saying that they (the cheater) are unworthy of their partner’s affections. Such reverse psychology often proves pretty successful, too…it’s the perfect sucker punch.

5. “We were just friends.” HA! As if this excuse will make the cheating seem not as bad! In many instances, the “cheating with friends” scenario is even more painful given that said friend might have even been YOUR friend, or a friend to you both, and was frequently all up in your face with false kindness…all while they were secretly doin’ your Boo behind your back.

6. “You don't listen to me.” Oh yeah, THIS is brilliant. So instead of confronting the communication lapse head-on, a partner instead goes out and has a fling with someone else? Too easy.

7. “You don't need me.” See #4. This excuse is like a sleight of hand, it’s the “card trick” of relationships.

8. “I'm having a mid-life crisis.” Only works if you’re, yunno, ACTUALLY mid-life. Not very effective or believable when you’re in your early 20s.

9. “I can't help myself.” Perhaps the WORST excuse of all. It essentially relegates the cheater to the role of helpless victim of their own psyche.

10. “It doesn't mean anything.” The cheater will trivialize the reason why they strayed as being “not important” such that it shouldn’t be an issue. This is the epitome of selfishness because it is so dismissive in nature…almost like the cheater is suggesting “Aaaah, don’t worry about it, it’s not that big of a deal…”